You can insure all sorts of things today, from your mustache to your wedding to your possibly being abducted by aliens. Now, thanks to Whole Foods, we can add Thanksgiving turkeys to the list, according to Fast Company. If you buy a turkey from Whole Foods between now and Nov. 22, and then horrifically mess up in cooking it (yeah, yeah, that link is from Christmas Vacation but it's still the best turkey fail in cinema), you can submit a claim, with a receipt and a photo of your horrible job, and get a $35 gift card, which you might then use to buy another turkey and hopefully not mess this one up (or go with a less demanding bird). Claims will be limited to the first 1,000 submissions, beginning on Thanksgiving Day. If you're deep-frying your turkey, however, fire insurance might be a better option than turkey insurance.