Many managers are nice people—so much so that their likability impedes their ability to deal with problems in the workplace, The Washington Post reported, based on feedback from readers.

An education professional in Madison, Wis., reported that she had a manager who was “a great guy and a deeply decent human being.” But this person “just made it very, very difficult to do my job," she said.  He “tried so hard to see everyone’s point of view that he couldn’t make any decisions."

Another reader, Amanda Cockrell, a retired graduate program director from Hollins University, admitted to being “that person,” who is “conflict averse. … I just hate being in charge of other people, and I’m not good at getting them to do what they’re supposed to do when they aren’t doing it,” she told the Post.

Kim Scott, author of “Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity,” refers to this phenomenon as “ruinous empathy.” She describes giving feedback as a graph with “caring personally” on one axis and “challenging directly” on the other. Caring too little and challenging too much results in what she calls “obnoxious aggression,” the kind of bad management we all know about. But, she told the Post, it can be just as bad for managers to care so much about people’s feelings that they avoid challenging their staff even when they need it.

The Post listed three ways in which a caring-without-challenging management style can do more harm than good: It doesn’t fool anyone, it’s demotivating to high performers, and it forces someone else to be the bad guy.

To strike a balance between being caring and challenging, Scott recommended that managers encourage respectful candor in others and solicit candid feedback. That shows an ability to receive, as well as give, feedback. Constructive feedback is received more easily when it is part of the company culture and accompanied by praise for what the employee is doing right.

The Post suggested that managers need to accept that the critiques they offer, and the decisions they make, may not always be welcome. It noted that sometimes addressing the problem is more important than keeping the peace.